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TL;DR HOW TO PLAY TEH GAEM BETTER W/ COMON SENSE AND GLICTHES AND STUPID JOKES ABOUT BEING STABED


Know your enemy.

  • Christ, I'm tired of these whiney kids commenting: ZOMG TEH BIG DOODS WONT DIE WEN I SHOT DEM. If you've come to this lonely blog then surely you've spent enough time on the site to know how to wipe out a G03LM. Go look it up if you don't. Just know that I will be secretly glaring at you the whole time. n00b.
  • You can dash-attack. Your friends in the Republic of Face-stabia cannot. In levels 1 and 2, they come at you in groups of three at a time. Run around a barrel to get one or two of them stuck and punch out the third one still chasing you. Or if you're lucky one will spawn on the opposite end of the room as the other two, giving you time to swat at him with your fists.
  • Now for those guys wielding pipes I mentioned in the first post? They are annoying at the best of times and lethal at the worst. I mean really, how are you supposed to light it when it's two and a half feet away from you? And that galvanized coating to keep the rust off can't be good on the lungs. Not to mention they smell like a skunk rolling in burning assholes... Erm, upon closer inspection they like to hit you with their pipes, not the hippie-style everybody hitting their pipe instead. Sorry. Just throw stuff at them. That's really the best way to go about dealing with these bastards.
  • Seriously, Just throw stuff at them. Once you can get one dude knocked down or better yet dead, run away like a pansy to lure his friends away from his weapon. Now you can pick it up and do some face stabbing of your own! From a very safe distance. The iron knife, for example, will accurately smack dudes at a range a little past the aiming cursor. Imagine there was a second crosshair attached to the end of the actual crosshair on the screen and you should hit someone. There is a chance that throwing a weapon will be lethal, but it really depends on the weapon. Mallets and Iron Pipes have the highest rate of deadly tosses I've found. Switchblades hardly ever kill. If you miss, run after your weapon. On the bright side, now there isn't a ton of guys standing over it like when you first obtained it. Remember that old saying? If life gives you lemons, you throw that shit at some ass-hat trying to stab you.


Clifftybonbons 05:43, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

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